Vanilla sex. How to add some extra layers to your play while keeping it vanilla.

Did you know sex toys can be a great addition to your vanilla sex life? And you don’t have to sacrifice intimacy to enjoy a little variety!

Vanilla sex is making a comeback, so what is it exactly? Are you already doing it without realising you’re doing it? Should you be embarrassed to admit you like it? What’s the goss on vanilla sex, and are we allowed to use sex toys while we are doing it? Read on to discover whether you already like vanilla, or if you need to add it to your plate!

Vanilla Sex - Savour Your Flavour

There are many shades of vanilla; it can be about being more intimate, or it can mean you are only using the missionary position. It might be about slowing down and staying quiet, or it could mean you are following a set routine that always works for you and your partner. As a term that creates contrast, you could think about it as the type of sex that you have where it’s pared back to just two people that care about each other, connecting. This could mean sex without any role play or more aggressive styling, where you perhaps don’t indulge in what you term kink. However, what is vanilla for you may be chocolate chip for someone else!

Add Some Depth

There is a vanilla spectrum that allows for your normal. Maybe you like to leave the lights up so you can add some intimacy with eye contact, perhaps you only like to do a couple of positions, and maybe you incorporate some sensual touch without penetration. Whatever your vanilla sex looks like, you may find adding a few aids can increase your pleasure without disrupting your connection. It’s great to talk about what you need with your partners and asking for vanilla sex is definitely not something you need to be shy about - just be certain that your definition of vanilla sex is clear!

Massage & Vanilla Sex

A vanilla sex session can begin with candles and soft music, and you could use oil to massage your partner - this can be super relaxing and create a feeling for your partner that you are taking care of them. As you move down their body you can switch out oil for a lubricant that will be gentle on more sensitive areas, this is a great way to approach touch with increased intimacy. There is no need to always escalate your massage into sex, but if you treat erogenous zones to a massage you may find things naturally take their course.

Many Hands Make Love Work

Vanilla sex can incorporate sex toys, and a smaller vibrator may be a great start. With your partner's permission, you could start a massage session by having them slip a discreet and quiet vibrator into a spot that feels comfortable. Then as you stroke them tenderly, they will have control over their arousal. While this type of touch may be vanilla, it’s certainly got some flavour!

Staying Restrained

Vanilla sex looks different for everyone, and there are no rules between consenting adults except for the ones they make for themselves. A little vanilla kink can be very sexy and it doesn’t mean you are stepping into territory that will see you compromising your values. A soft entry point for something a little vanilla with chocolate topping could be using a simple restraint. If you tie your partner's hands gently before you massage them it can allow them to relax even further. And if you add a cock ring to quietly do its thing while you provide some comfort to stressed muscles, your partner may find that back rub goes on for much longer than usual!

Vanilla sex can be cosy and sweet, it can be simple, or it can include a sprinkling of whatever you fancy on top. It’s always a good idea to connect with a sex partner and vanilla sex may be just the palate cleanser you crave!

Whatever flavour you favour there is a sex toy that can add a little sprinkle on the top, shop vanilla sex toys at the Playmate Adult Store:

Playmate Blogs