Let’s talk butts, shall we?
For some, the anus is the dreaded and forbidden exit-only road. For others, is it the gateway of possibilities for tipping your sex life on its head - for the better. So, how can something with such pleasurable potential be so polarising?
First up, who can experience pleasure from anal play?
Um. Can everyone raise their hands, please? It’s possible for absolutely anyone and everyone to experience sexual pleasure from having their anus stimulated. That being said, just because it is possible, doesn’t mean that it’s everyone’s cup of tea (myself included, so I can see both sides.) If you aren’t into it, don’t force the issue - you don’t HAVE to like it.
Why do some people not like anal play?
Tons of reasons, some personal, some logical - it’s just like how some people like being tied up and others don’t. It’s all down to personal taste in the bedroom. Some people really irk at the idea of anal sex, due to an assumption that it is unsanitary (as the anus is where we poop from, FYI) but you get around that quite easily by being hygienic, showering before sex and giving your backside a bit more love and attention - and if you’re really concerned, douching safely can help too - but it is in no way essential. Your penis and vagina can be just as nasty if you don’t shower. Be kind to your lovely partners, people - and shower.
Anal play is not just for men, or just for women, although it is geared more towards those assigned male at birth for one very simple reason. They have prostates, and vulva-wielding citizens do not.
What is the prostate?
The prostate gland is a male sex organ. The gland works together with the penis and testicles to produces the seminal fluid that completes the makeup of semen and helps propel it through the penis. Lying just beneath the bladder and surrounding the beginning of the urethra, the prostate gland is roughly the size of a walnut. It lies about two inches inside the rectum, somewhere in the squishy middle area between the rectum and the penis.
Fun fact: You don’t actually have to enter the anus to access the prostate, or benefit from the mind-blowing effects of it being stimulated. You can massage the prostate externally. You just have to feel for the squishy, soft area between the penis and the rectum and get your rhythm and positioning comfortably to start feeling the sensations.
Fun tip: The more aroused you are, the more prominent the prostate will be, as it swells when turned on. So for an easier find, make sure you are already aroused before searching about for it.
Going in: If you try and find the prostate internally, it will feel different to the rest of the tissue in the surrounding area - so it should be relatively easy to locate. It feels like a bulb, that is rather fleshy and swollen (as I mentioned, it is not unlike a walnut in shape.)
How do you have an orgasm from your prostate?Just like a vaginal orgasm, a prostate orgasm may take a lot a practice and patience. It is achievable using your fingers, anal sex, an anal toy, dildo or vibrator - although it’s not limited to these things!
You’re more likely to get the results you want if you take things slow, use a lot of lube, and listen carefully to your body. As with anal sex, make sure you shower before you start exploring your back paths, and give it some extra attention while washing. Some people find putting a condom on their sex toys a great way for easy clean up too.
What does a prostate orgasm feel like?
You’re probably wondering whether the effort is worth it, so we’ll try and describe it for you. Some people report that the prostate orgasm feels the same as a penile orgasm, only way more intense and felt throughout the entire body. When coupled with penis stimulation, some claim they enter another dimension (we take that one with a pinch of salt...but you get the idea.) It feels amazing, and that’s why so many toys are out on the market specifically to find it!
Tips for the beginner:
- Use the bathroom before engaging in anal play. The prostate, being so close to the bladder, will give you the sense that you need to pee when stimulated. If you’ve just been, then you won’t feel so worried about doing the deed. Same with the backdoor, anal penetration also makes you feel like you’re pooping (because...what else do you have to compare it to?)
- Did we mention showering? Do this to minimise any self-consciousness around cleanliness, as this will prevent you from fully engaging in the experience.
- Use a lot of lube, and get as aroused as possible before attempting to find the prostate
- There may be some discomfort the first few times you try anal sex or prostate stimulation, as it’s unfamiliar. Don’t let this bother you. If you experience pain, stop - always listen to your body.
In short, the prostate is a great little sex organ and is worth exploring alone or with a partner! Gear up for a brand new experience that may transform your idea of pleasure - for good!
Want some toy inspiration? Here at Playmate, we’ve got all sorts of Prostate pals that will help ease you into anal play that range size for when you want to try something a little different.
Beginner’s Delight Butt Plug - https://playmate.net.nz/collections/his-toys-dildo/products/beginners-delight-dildo
Inexpensive and easy to use - this anal plug is the way to start!
Backdoor Joy - https://playmate.net.nz/collections/his-toys-dildo/products/backdoor-joy
It got its name for a reason… the ribbed design means you can easily insert and play with different girths at your leisure.
Vibrating Beaded Plug - https://playmate.net.nz/collections/his-toys-dildo/products/vibrating-beaded-plug
If vibration sounds more fun than manually pumping, then this might be the one for you with plenty of room for advancement.