Ever heard spluttered in a conversation "No way, I don't do that", usually in front of said person's partner and delivered with a red face? Yeah, same.
Masturbation isn't dirty and it definitely isn't uncommon. We'll wager every single person on earth does it at one point or another. So why are we still denying it?
Shame relating to self-pleasure is deep-rooted and it's totally unnecessary (the shame, not the self-pleasure). We're no sex therapist or anything, but it's time we open up the flood gates on self-masturbation, why it's so great and how to get your masturbation toolkit stocked up in time for...every day life?
Masturbation and sexual health.
Masturbation has a long list of benefits for your sexual health and let's start with the big one: it's one of the safest forms of sex out there! No STDS, no infections, no getting pregnant - it's foolproof. But besides the obvious safety of self-masturbation, it holds many more sexual health benefits. It's a wonder that it isn't talked about in sex education.
Self-masturbation teaches you how to orgasm. Orgasming isn't the be-all and end-all of sexual interaction, but it feels amazing, reduces stress levels and absolutely floods you with endorphins and other good things like oxytocin (the love hormone), which fills us with hormonal happiness and a sense of closeness.
As Elle Woods would say "endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't kill their husbands."
Learning how to do this for yourself instils calm and a better knowledge of your body and sexual behaviour. It can also help you sleep better! Having a clear mind from a physical release allows you to destress in ways unlike any other, so it makes sense to add masturbation to your weekly or daily schedule to reap the health benefits and feel better adjusted.
Sexual tension can be painful, in more ways than one (blue balls, anyone?) and make us feel and act crazy, more aggressive or actually make some pretty poor life choices with strangers or take the frustration out on our partners. Relaxed people are much better adjusted. So get that sexual release in a healthy way, friend!
There is no right or wrong way to masturbate.
If it feels good, you're doing it right. When it comes to a masturbation session, anything goes. Every human being contains different combinations of nerve endings and that means that different sexual stimulation is required from person to person. One size certainly does not fit all. When you're alone, you can do exactly what you want - it's your own body, after all! This kind of judgement-free sexual fun, with a sex toy or without, can set the bar pretty high when it comes to your sexual expectations (and that's a good thing). Sexual confidence is important for forming ongoing, fulfilling relationships - and it's hard to find that before you know how to achieve great orgasms for yourself. You can even introduce the way you masturbate to a partner, when you feel confident with it, to show them exactly what you want and how to get the very best orgasm out of you - hopefully, they'll let you in on their secret too, and everyone's a winner!
It's amazing what masturbation tips and masturbation techniques you can pick up from your friends, too, if they are open to talking about it. Dive on in and see what you get back!
Yes, you're allowed to masturbate even when you're married.
Thinking that buddying up with another person is going to immediately and forever cure you of your sexual needs is hilarious. Remember those health benefits above? You shouldn't take them away just because the pair of you are busy. While sexual pleasure shared is fantastic, life often gets in the way, and sexual interaction can lessen over the years. This doesn't necessarily mean you and your partner aren't meant for each other, but you're both sensible adults with lives and obligations and giving each other regular orgasms might not be on the top of the to-do list this week. Making masturbation a normal part of your relationship is HEALTHY. Expecting the other person to drop it, especially when you're not getting at it regularly, is unrealistic. They are going to do it anyway, but shut off from you. By encouraging a sexual appetite in your partner, even in their masturbation sessions, you bring yourselves closer together and help you to understand each other better, too. Try buying your partner a masturbation sex toy to pique their desire, and you'll probably find you will end up using the toy together (we love the pleasure cup for men, and the wicked bunny for women), and this way you are giving it your blessing to be used alone. Sexual confidence and acknowledgement of another human being as having a sexual nature is SEXY - your partner will thank you for it.
So, let's get down to it.
The best toys for male and female masturbation.
Setting up your masturbation toolkit can be pretty exciting. You don't have to take anyone else's tastes into account and choose a sex toy (or ten) that appeals to you. The pressure is off with a personal sex toy, too, if you're disappointed in its results - then that's between you and the sex toy.
For female masturbation, we always suggest a toy that stimulates the clitoris. Not many women actually achieve orgasm through g spot stimulation, and there's some hot debate about the actual legitimacy of the g spot existing at all. But we do know there is a clitoris, for sure, and it's the easiest spot to reach for self-masturbation with amazing results.
Our pick of female masturbation sex toy tools:
The Satisfyer Mini Sucking Clit Vibrator - yeah, it's as good as it sounds.
The Randy Rabbit in 36 Speeds - hold on for this one.
The Pleasure Tongue - need we say more?
The Heating Butterfly - a must-have masturbation master.
Our pick of male masturbation sex toy tools:
Hands-Free Pleasure Cup & Silk Touch Lube Combo - because you'll be needing lube.
Explosive Anal Plug & Cock Ring Vibrator - what doesn't it touch?!
Large Male Pleasure Ring - to make it last as long as possible.
Lexi Lush Inflatable Sex Doll - when you want the whole dang show.
And there you have it! Masturbation is totally normal, fun and a fantastic way to get some physical and mental relief in your day, so it's time to start embracing the solo play and kitting out your playtime with the right tools.
Until next time,